I didn’t realise how controlling she’d been and how that had affected my self-worth.
But one day I made a choice to put myself first. I started on a path of self-discovery, increasing my confidence and learning everything I could about love and relationships.
I became fascinated with love and attraction. I read books, numerous articles, attended seminars and worked with a mentor to gain the direction and clarity I needed.
But before this self-realisation, I struggled with my sexual identity, until I finally came out as a lesbian at 17. Despite being involved with a strict religion, my family still accepted me for who I was. We were very close-knit and I could talk to my parents about anything.
The church I grew up in wasn’t accepting of my sexual identity and I lost a few friends in the process. But throughout the years I’ve created a new life based on love, diversity and acceptance.
Today I have a much better understanding of healthy boundaries - my ‘No’ means ‘No’. Although I’m not perfect, the desire to please people has diminished and so has the need to constantly explain myself. I’ve also had to make hard decisions about toxic friendships in my life and I don’t put a label on my sexuality.
I was a very shy child, I felt nervous speaking to adults and was often the target of school bullies. I rarely stood up for myself. At age 14 I enrolled in after school drama classes and over time my confidence soared, I was no longer the shy girl that refused to speak on stage at church. I went on to graduate from Victoria University of Wellington with a BA in Theatre & Film Studies, which I absolutely loved.
I haven’t always been super confident on stage but I’ve learned tips and tricks to boost my confidence and combat nerves, so I can enjoy performing on stage.
The teachers and mentors I’ve had in my life have truly helped me on my journey, and now I want to help you with yours. Coaching had been on my mind for a while, as I could see how much I benefited from coaching myself, so I became qualified with the Clique Coaching Academy.
I now enjoy dating as a fun activity on it’s own and I don’t put pressure on myself or my date to be perfect. We also don’t have to put dating aside because we’re in a pandemic - there are still many opportunities to create new connections.
I truly believe that we each have the capacity and ability to love everyone for who they truly are, without limitations, judgement or societal pressures.
My mission is to help you find love of your own kind, to accept who you were made to be, so you can love passionately, whole-heartedly, and maintain authentic relationships.